Hello, My Charmed Ones!
Originally I had a youtube video planned for you all today! Don’t worry it will be up soon. But there was something else I felt was more important to share with my readers. God put on my heart in the last couple of days that I need to share my story! Which is a hard thing to swallow ” Hey Riley, Go share your journey with the entire world. Open yourself up to criticism and judgment of hundreds of millions of people.” But I decided it was time to share and come clean about things that have been going on in my life behind closed doors.
As a mom, the last thing I want to admit is sometimes it is hard for me to get out of bed. I know I have kids to take care of, a house to clean, a husband to spend time with, a full-time blog I am trying to launch, and a family. I have a lot on my plate and when I am paralyzed to the bed not a lot happens around here. In fact most days I lock myself in my room and cry! Because I feel like I am worthless. I feel like a crappy mom most days. And 9 times out of 10 I don’t leave the house 5 days a week. As much as it overwhelms me that I have so much on my plate, I AM NEEDED and it is a good feeling to be needed!
One year ago I was admitted to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. I can’t imagine what would have happened if I would have gone through with it. So much has happened in the last year that I would have hated to miss! I STOOD UP! I didn’t let the devil take over! I am alive today. I don’t want to say I SURVIVED because I haven’t yet concurred all of the thoughts and feelings I am still having!
Let me tell you something. There is no cure for anxiety, Depression, and Suicidal thoughts. Only preventative care. STOP IGNORING WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! It won’t go away if you turn a blind eye to yours or someone you know mental illness. Mental illness is real and it is not something to joke about! When someone speaks up about what they are feeling PLEASE do not tell them “to stop being so dramatic” or “just get over it” It won’t help and you are more likely going to make it worse. If you cant help them find someone who can! It doesn’t have to be a doctor or a therapy center.